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MEN'S RULES
AND
PROPER TERMINOLOGY
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MEN'S RULES
Rule # 1
Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
Rule # 2
If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
Rule # 3
If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
Rule # 4
It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take that stupid Cosmo quiz together.
Rule # 5
Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?
Rule # 6
Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
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FOR WOMEN!
Rule # 7
You can either ask us to do something or Tell us How you want it,
But NOT Both.
Rule # 8
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials or time-outs.
Rule # 9
Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.
Rule # 10
Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses
lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
Rule # 11
When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp,
you saying, "This is our exit" is not necessary.
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FOR MEN TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
1) She is not an AIRHEAD, She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
2) She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY, She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
3) She is not HORNY, She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
4) She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS, She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
5) She does not NAG YOU, She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
6) She is not a SLUT, She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
7) She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS, She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
8) She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE, She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.