2) How do you sink a polish battleship?
A. Pick B
B. Put it in water.
C. Pick

3) Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
A. Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

4) How do you get a one-armed Pollock out of a tree?
A. Pick C
B. Pick C
C. Wave to him.

5) How did the Germans invade Poland ?
A. They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

6)Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?
A. So the cops can find the handles.
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

7)How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
A. Pick C
B. Pick C
C. He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

8)How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
A. Pick B
B. Turn off the carousel.
C. Pick B

9) How many Pollocks does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 3, One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb and the other two to
spin the chair. OR 100,001, One to hold the bulb and the other 100,000 to spin the house.
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

10) What do you do if a Pollock throws a pin at you?
A. Pick B
B. Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
C. Pick B

11) What do you do if a Pollock throws a hand-grenade at you?
A. Take the pin out and throw it back.
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

12) Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
A. Pick B
B. Lawrence of Poland.
C. Pick B

13) How do Pollocks know which way to put their underwear on?
A. Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

14) How do you know you're flying over Poland?
A. Pick C
B. Pick C
C. Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.

15) Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could
not be used?
A. Pick B
B. No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole.
C. Pick B

16) Why do Polish names end in "ski" ?
A. Because they can't spell toboggan.
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

17) Do you know why Polish Submarines always sink?
A. They have Screen doors!
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

18) Why do Pollocks hate dogs?
A. Pick C
B. Pick C
C. Because dogs always pee on Poles.

19) What's the motto of the Polish Solidarity Union?
A. Every man for himself.
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

20) How do you get a Pollock out of the bath tub?
A. Pick B
B. Throw in a bar of soap.
C. Pick B

21) What's delaying the Polish space program?
A. Development of a working match.
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

22) Why do Polish dogs have flat noses?
A. Pick B
B. From chasing parked cars.
C. Pick B

23) What do you get when you cross a 1-legged Pollock with a Mongoloid?
A. A Polaroid One Step.
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

24) How do you confuse a Pollock?
A. Pick C
B. Pick C
C. Put him in a round room and tell him there is a penny in the corner.

25) How do you keep a Pollock in suspense?
A.
B.
C.

26) What happens when a Pollock doesn't pay his garbage bill?
A. They stop delivering.
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

27) How do you ruin a Polish party?
A. Pick C
B. Pick C
C. Flush the punch bowl.

28) What does a Pollock give his wife that’s long and hard on her wedding night?
A. A new last name.
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

29) What happened to the Polish National Library?
A. Pick B
B. Someone stole the book.
C. Pick B

30) Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?
A. They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies
born in the world today is Chinese.
B. Pick A
C. Pick A

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OK you can take a break now but don't be asking for help on part 2 of this test.

Ready? Let's go!