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Dang! I made another mistake on my Computer Here...Sorry!

Good thing you Americans invented White Out!

But it's making it hard to see my screen after awhile....

Oh Well..... Keep reading please!

1)  There are three construction workers on top of a building having lunch. One Italian, one Pollock, and one Oriental. The Italian has a meatball hero, the Oriental has noodles, and the Polock has knackwurst. The Italian and the Oriental are tired of having the same lunches everyday. The Italian says that if he gets a meatball hero the next day that he will throw it off the building. The Oriental says that if he gets noodles tomorrow he will also throw it off the building. The Pollock says that if he gets knackwurst tomorrow he will throw it off the building. Sure enough the Italian and Oriental workers open their lunch-boxes and they find that they have a meatball hero and noodles respectively. They both throw their lunches off the building. The Polock them throws his sandwich off the building. The other guys ask him how he knew that it was knackwurst again without even looking. He responded by saying, "Because I pack my own lunch."

2) A Pollock is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day." So the Pollock takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?", the Pollock sks himself. "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day", the Pollock tells himself. So, the next morning the Pollock gets up at 4 in the morning and cuts, and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and he only manages to cut five cords. The Pollock is convinced this is a bad saw. "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will
take this saw back to the dealer", the Pollock says to himself. The very next day the Pollock brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the Pollock's claim, removes the
chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, "Huh, it looks fine." Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the Pollock responds, "What's that noise?"

3) A Pollock, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink. The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guinness." The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table." The Pollock said "That sounds fine but if we go to Kowalski's we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid." "That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you actually been there?"
"No," the Pollock replied, "but my wife goes there all the time."

4) For five years, two Poles and an Italian have worked side by side every day as window washers, and every night after work they stopped for a drink. One day, disaster struck, and the Italian fell to his death. The police came to the site and began asking questions. "Where does he live?" The Poles shrugged their shoulders. "Is he married?" The Poles didn't know. "What is his NAME?" The Poles shrugged again. "You worked with this guy for five years and you don't know anything about him?" the cop asked. "I know something about him," one Pollock volunteered. "He has two assholes."
"What are you talking about?" said the cop. "Well," said the Pollock, "Whenever we go for a drink after work the bartended says, 'Here comes the dago with the two assholes.'"

5) Two Polish hunters were out looking for pheasant when they came upon the local farmer's daughter, sitting naked on a fence, sunning herself. The first hunter asked, "Are you game?" She replied, "I sure am, Honey!" The second hunter shot her.

6) A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Pollock and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw your wife giving you a blow job. The Pollock answers, "The joke's on you Johnny, I wasn't even home last night."

7) An Englishman, a Texan and a Pollock are lost in the Nevada desert. After days without water or food they come upon a lamp half buried in the sand. They rub the lamp and out comes a genie. Since they all rubbed the lamp the genie grants each one a single wish. The Texan goes first and wishes to be transported back to his house where his pool was filled with beautiful women. The claps his hands and the Texan vanishes in a flash of light. The Englishman wishes to be transported back to his house where he knows his wife will be eagerly awaiting him. Once again the Genie claps his hands and the Englishman vanishes. The Pollock sits down and thinks about what he should wish for. Suddenly realizing he is all alone in the desert, he promptly wishes that the Texan and the Englishman were back.

8) This Polish guy gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn't know what to do. He's fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, "Al, you big dummy! You're supposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!" So he got his bowling bowl and put it in the sink.

9 Two Pollocks are riding across Europe on a 727, a 3-engine plane, when the pilot announces, "Folks, we just had one engine go out, but don't worry, this plane can fly just fine on two engines, but we're going to be about 1 hour late getting into Warsaw." An hour later, the pilot gets on the intercom again, "Folks, don't get alarmed, but a second engine just went out, but please don't worry. This plane is designed to fly safely on one engine, but now we'll be about 2 hours late getting into Warsaw." After that announcement, one Pollock looks at the other and says, "Well, I sure hope that third engine doesn't go out. We'll be up here all night."

10) You may recall that Polish jokes and Italian jokes used to run about equal numbers, but lately polish jokes predominate. This is because both sides grew tired of being denigrated and decided to have a game of football to see who should get all the jokes - loser to take on the jokes. The game was held, and was hard-fought. But it was a scoreless tie, so they went into sudden-death overtime. After about 5 minutes, a train passing nearby blew its whistle. The Poles thought that was the end of the game and left the field. Three plays later, the Italians scored and won, thus making the Poles take the jokes.

11) A Pollock walked into a bar with a handful of shit and said, "Hey, look what I almost stepped in!"

12) A Pollock walked into the neighborhood bar and a neighbor called "Hey, Karlinski, you idiot! You gotta pull down the shades when you're humping your old lady... I could see everything last night!" Karlinski got a big grin on his face. "The joke's on you Kearny. I wasn't even home last night!"

13) A polish guy wins a brand new sports car in a contest. He drives around all the time waving at the rednecks. One day the rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say "If you step out of that circle, we will kick your ass." They pick up hammers and start busting up his new car. They look back and the is smiling. They hit the car some more, and he is laughing. They walk over to him and ask "Why are you laughing, we just busted up your car." He says "I know, but I stepped out of the circle 9 times when you weren’t looking."

OK, You're done for now!