Just an Observation

Posted on August 7, 2019 by Monte

This is just an observation and in no way portrays the thoughts or feelings of management…..LOL that should cover the nay Sayers and those that want to complain about what I say here. I’m just going to put it out there… “Sex Sells!” I don’t think a truer statement has ever been spoken no matter what the issue is. And it doesn’t have to be intentional either. For example, a Good-looking woman in her 20’s or 30’s, even beyond that age if she still has that look of excitement in her eyes, could sell ice to Eskimos. Let’s face it, sex is what keeps the media going and sales high. I’ve noticed through my years that if you are good looking, with good energy, good humor, you can take on the world. OK,, OK,, there ARE exceptions to the rule but I’m not talking carved in stone here, just on the average as the norm. Take the fitness business I’m in, would you rather be with a coach that’s good looking, in shape and young? Or a guy who’s considered old by social standards, in average shape physically, and maybe average in the over all looks category. Without lying, you are going to pick her not me.

I’ve come to this understanding by paying attention to the events, videos, and advertisements with in the fitness industry. You don’t have to be skinny just look good when you present yourself, high energy and being young helps too. There are approx. 300,000 coaches in beachbody and at every event when announcing the top this or that it’s almost always a good-looking lady with a walk of energy and a twinkle in her eye. Rarely do you ever see a guy up there in that group unless he has like a Chippendale dancer physique. Please don’t get that I’m bitter or anything at all. I just know how it works as a general rule. I say this because I’m 60, average looks, physique is a work in progress (about 30 pounds overweight), NOT real media savvy. Oh, and Media Savvy is another whole issue by itself that adds into the picture. What else adds into the picture is popularity by which of course was gained by the looks and personality of ???? a lady. Men have it a lot harder the older they get. I’m not complaining I’m just stating the facts as I see them. I’ve thought of giving up but then again why?

Why should I give up? There ARE guys in my category that have made it, not many but a few. So why not be part of the few? You’re never too old to learn something, like Social Media. The younger group will tell you it’s simple just post everyday and they will come. Hmm, I did that for over 3 months of posting at least 2 or 3 times a day about my workouts, nutrition, things in general that I was doing and how I would love to help anyone. Not even a nibble. I was told how 2 or 3 THOUSAND people a day, that you don’t even know, view your posts. So, with that in mind, if’ it’s true, not even getting a nibble or 1 friend request is like a Billion to one shot. I would have better odds winning the lotto. It’s human nature to comment whether it’s good or bad. Yet I do not give up. I just need to find the key ingredient that I’m missing to get the cake to rise so to speak. Oh, I can hear it already…. You have a defeatist attitude…. You’re making excuses,,,,, your only downfall is YOU,,,, You’re just taking the lazy way out to justify your short comings,,, and so on, Well like said before, be honest with yourself at least if with no one else and look at the whole picture.

Just because you don’t think yourself to be above average or anything special, the general public does and will follow you all over. Attitude is the key to a lot and will overrule a lot of the social misconceptions. Women are still better though at it than guys. Ask yourself this before you keep rolling your eyes right out of your head … You’re a guy, standing in line someplace and you strike up a conversation with the lady in front of you. It’s casual and about fitness and you ask to stay in touch, asking for her info. Reaction? “I’m Married!” or “I’m NOT interested!” You didn’t ask to meet up at a hotel or out for a date. The guy however is automatically viewed as a predator. Now, if a lady starts to talk to a lady, not only will she walk away with a new BFF but all the other persons info including an address. So, don’t tell me you are nothing special, but you made it! You ARE something special and so you made it. The average person or male, needs to get an edge, gimmick, something,,,, to get to that level playing field we all desire to achieve. And don’t get me started on Giving up, that should never be an option if you wish to truly obtain success. Look around and you’ll see I’m telling the truth here. Break it all down, Looks, Popularity and Age make up 75% of what it takes in this fitness business. Leaving 25% for myself and others in the same spot trying to get ahead. I won’t stop looking though to make my dream become 100% and I know there are no guarantees, but I CAN guarantee however, that if you Don’t try, you will only get to 100% as a Fail.

Remember to drop me line with any questions, ideas, or if you need help with anything. Also, if you would like to help people like I do, let me know and let’s talk. I’m always looking to build my team!

E-mail :: HK3Fitness@gmail.com

Facebook :: Harold Krueger

Instagram :: MonteP90X

#fitness #Fun #foodporn #journey #workout #Beachbody #coach #Financial #business #Health #healthy #nutrition #shakeology #family #challenge #beast #p90x #MLM #mlm #opportunity #group #beachbodycoach #future #muscle #weightloss #strength #energy #BOD #blog

2019 Beachbody Classic Was CLASSIC!

Posted on August 5, 2019 by Monte

It’s been a few months and the Classic is over for 2019. Did I go and follow through? Umm, didn’t you see the picture? LOL! What? That’s not bad at 60yrs old and being my first shot at it. I know there were a lot of better competitors and younger and all but there were others like me that just wanted to show the world what I’ve done and proud of it. I will be working hard at being even better for the 2020 Classic at New Orleans in July. Anyone care to join me? Now, before I get to that point, I will have a tuff road ahead of me for the rest of this year 2019 when I can REALLY get into the workout and hit them hard.

First of all, is my lower spine issue, having 5 herniated discs each with a tear that need attention. I will be having a set of injections direct into the spine, 6 injections per set, 5 sets. This will be done 1 set a week for 5 weeks. Oh, what fun. But wait, it’s gets better folks! When my Spine work is done, it will be time for the Left Knee Replacement scheduled for September 9^th, 2019. This of course will be followed by therapy for who knows how long. Then and only Then will I be able to get my little butt to the gym and work it like there’s no tomorrow.

Thus, the Nutrition side during all this will be my number 1 concern and commitment to eating clean and lean while I’m laid up. Any tips on snacks would be really great. My eating habits will be small portions of lean meats and a lot of super foods like Avocado and the like. Nuts will supply a good source for snacking along with Skinny Pops, those are awesome. No fried foods or saturated fats and sugars. I’ll work on my Marcos very close and keep it to good fats, Protein and Carbs. I’ll be working on my web page a lot and the blog section too of course. I have been thinking of doing an upper body workout that I can do without standing. I wrote one up a few months ago and so that will be the time to really put it to the test and see what results I get and how close it will be to what I envisioned them to be.

Meanwhile I’ll be thinking up new things to try and figure out to have a VLOG go along WITH the Blog so a person can have a choice to listen while driving or multitasking on something OR quietly read it so no one knows while there are at work or something. I know I’ve said it before that I’ll be more consistent and informative in my Blogs and I’ve let a lot of people down. I am Sorry about that and I WILL do something about that. So, lets get started with this one as the first of MANY to come over the weeks and months ahead. I always want to hear from you so ask away or share your journey with me.

E-mail :: HK3Fitness@gmail.com

Facebook :: Harold Krueger

Instagram :: MonteP90X

#deepthought #foodporn #journey #Health #healthy #family #challenge #group #people #mindset #future #strength #energy #blog #biker #old #wisdom #growth #smallstuff #feelings #emotions #speakout #life #growingup #childhood #mental #freedom #speach #fitness #fun #journey #workout #Beachbody #coach #financial #business #health #healthy #nutrition #shakeology #beast #P90X #MLM #opportunity #Beachbodycoach #muscle #weightloss #energy #BOD #oldandfit #challenge #past #young

2019 Continues !!!

Posted on February 2, 2019 by Monte

I’M Ready! Are YOU With Me!?

It’s been 1 month into the new year and my new journey. Some people on my media feeds are gone and a few new people have joined. I have a list of things to still be completed but I am keeping strong and committed to my New Journey of 2019. This year will be like no other and I’m both scared and Amazingly Excited at the same time. My emails have now been updated, sorted and un-needed ones deleted. I’ve been in a sort of Nutritional Suicide Mode this weekend and on Monday I will bury myself into a nutritional plan to assure a much healthier lifestyle. I’ve re-committed to the gym for my cardio part of the journey and a combination of Body Beast and Slim in 6 for the at home workouts. February will be a an even more awesome month to explore than January was.

This 2^nd month of the new year 2019 has brought me in touch with a new friend and fellow neighbor that is amazing with Social Media and may become a coach on my team as well as teach me how to reach out better to all the people that are out there waiting for me to help them get on a path to a better and healthier life. I still strive to get into a gym related workplace so I can stop doing all this outside maintenance around the complex I live in. Oh, the drama here with the HOA and Management company is at level all by itself and I’m tired of it. I don’t need the negative day after day but I do need the side pay it provides for now. Once I get started with my new Media Coach it will be a major turn around in my life for the better as I will be helping so many others do the same.

This blog is just an update with no profound statement or deep thought or childhood back ground. It’s simply for accountability to help keep me on track for journey I have chosen. My main 2 Goals to achieve by July of this year are to walk the Beachbody Classic stage with my awesome new physique and be a Diamond Coach when I do that. The media training will play a hug part in the goal of becoming a Diamond Coach and my Nutritional Commitment will get me on that stage at Summit 2019 looking AMAZING! And not to worry, plenty of pictures will be posted about that. I want to believe that I have a ton of readers for my blog and hope one day that will be a reality and not just a dream. So PLEASE if anyone is reading this let me know.

Drop me line with any questions, ideas, or if you need help with anything. Also, if you would like to help people like I do, let me know and let’s talk. I’m always looking to build my team!

E-mail :: HK3Fitness@gmail.com

Facebook :: Harold Krueger

Instagram :: MonteP90X

Why do what THEY WANT or DO!?

Posted on November 17, 2018 by Monte

Just pull yourself out of the cycle and live as you should live!

Ever wonder why some people do what they do? I believe it could be due to how they were taught and raised. I know how it is since I’ve battled with my childhood for as long as I’ve been an adult, over 40 years now. But past is past and letting go is the key. Sure, sometimes it’s easier said than done but it can be done. I know of what I speak. The early years of my childhood was OK but when my parents started having trouble it was past on down to all us kids. Myself and two sisters got it the worst. My little brother was like the golden child to mom and my youngest sister was mom’s favorite. I grew up with one brow beating after another accompanied by actual beatings as well. Today CPS would have stepped in really quick. However back in the day, 1960’s, there was no such thing really.

So, when I hear today about how Oh poor me I had it so ruff as a kid that now I hate the world and myself!!!! What drama! Give it a rest. Kids today don’t know how it was back in the day. Times were hard, and we got through it. Without a ton of therapy. OH, I’m still dealing with some of the thoughts that were beat ,,,, I mean told repeatedly upon my head,,,, I mean to me. You get the idea. I’m not bitter about any of it. Why? Because I refuse to let it control my life like it once did. Times change, ideas change, mindset is everything. You can let it control you or you can take hold and control it. Everyday you get up is a new start. Look at the day before you get out of bed, as having a clean slate and what is going to happen that day has yet to be written. It’s up to you to write it the way you want it, not how someone else wants it to be. Don’t get me wrong here, there’s nothing wrong with agreeing with someone and do some things the way they would like it to be. Just don’t let it jeopardize your journey. Besides, making someone happy that way is part of life by giving and sharing.

It’s not easy saying no to all the negative that goes through your mind on a daily basis it’s so much easier to just roll with it, but it’s something each of us needs to do to then be able to get through the walls that life has built around us starting from childhood because we allowed it. I’m sure you know that a wall can’t stand strong without mortar to hold it together. Guess what? YOU are the mortar. You are what’s keeping that wall strong against you. Take yourself out of the equation by saying no and watch the wall come falling down. Leave all the Nay Sayers behind and use their words to strengthen you and not strengthen the wall. You know what the real truth is about everything that’s going on in your life, not anyone else, and so only you can judge it, no one else, so why listen to them? Be true to you and be who you are. There are thousands of people out there that will want to be around you for who you really are, you just need to believe in yourself and allow that to happen. The few that want to change you? Just let them go, you don’t need them. So many will find that a bit scary to change it up that way. I’m not going to tell you it isn’t, because it is, its but well worth that step. You have to trust that in the long run your journey will be so much Better, nicer, brighter and a lot less stressful.

E-mail :: HK3Fitness@gmail.com

Facebook :: Harold Krueger

Instagram :: MonteP90X

STATEMENTS

Posted on October 24, 2018 by Monte

The only difference between success and failure in any job is your attitude toward it.

Quite the bold statement indeed but it’s not always 100% true. I have found that any statement has its acceptations to the rule. And even that statement, follows that. That first line that you read for example, stating the only difference is attitude…… like most, can easily be tossed out because it’s a general rule and not one that’s carved in stone. To back this up, I will tell you that I myself have gone into a project, believing in my heart to be a failure but it was something that needed to be done so I tried anyway. Low and behold it worked out Great! I was really surprised. And then there are projects I took on with the utmost in confidence, believing 100% that it will be a cake walk, after all, I totally knew what I was doing. Yet half way through, it fell apart terribly, epic failure! So would it be safe to say, in general, that attitude does not always dictate the end result? So how then do we get all these profound sayings that are followed without question?

From as far back as time goes, we all learned at an early age to believe those that seem to be in charge and show great confidence in what they do and say. Why, they must have the answers to life itself! So, we hang on their every word and take it to heart as gospel, or the proverbial carved in stone. I’m not saying to never believe anyone that tells you something or doubt everything that you hear. So don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of statements out there that are true. One of them that I like really hit it on the head, I’m not sure of the exact person that quoted this but someone once said, “There are no truths; there are only perceptions of truth.” With that being said, the truth then really, is what you what it to be and not just what someone that is good with words leads you to believe. It’s called the word game. That statement is something that most politicians are Great at manipulating. But this game is played by all, yes, it’s fun for the whole family! The key word to that statement is, “Perception”. This is where 100 people can listen to the same speech, statement, seminar or webinar and get an entirely different take away from it. I’ve seen this happen and experienced it for myself more than once, to the point where I’ve asked myself “Were we at the same seminar!?” If we all just blindly listen, we won’t see the end result until it hits us in the face. It’s like if you jump out of a plane without a parachute, the scenery is awesome and the feeling of floating like a cloud is amazing. Until of course you get to the end and the reality of not using a parachute smacks you in the face like a brick wall.

This parachute of course is just a metaphor, to make you realize that everything needs something, to make it work. I feel the parachute is as close to being perfect for an example as it gets. Look at it this way, a parachute can stop, slow down and even pull you higher if you know how to use it right. It’s similar to para sailing. It’s an all-around catch all for causing what could be a terrible or fatal outcome of an event, change, to be an awesome journey instead. Life in general is a free fall that you can glide through with ease or live it flat out and deal with the end when it comes. The things we are told through our lives by all these “Self-help” “Motivational” Inspirational” “Controversial” speakers, should start with a warning to have your parachute ready and your mind open to be ready to use both at all times.

E-mail :: HK3Fitness@gmail.com

Facebook :: Harold Krueger

Instagram :: MonteP90X

Ever Wonder

Posted on September 4, 2018 by Monte

Ever wonder if anyone is really listening to you at all? Yes, we talk and talk but for some, like me, it’s never really listened to. I found out a couple months ago I have what’s called R.B.F., Resting Bitch Face. It’s amazing how any lady ever found me attractive then. I mean I wouldn’t want to be with someone that always looks mad. I remember times back in the day when I used to actually live my life, I would go out on my Harley to a local bar with some buddies and no one ever really talked to me except for the guys I came with. People would come up and talk to them but not me. I questioned that they all thought I was just being dramatic and crazy. But one of them actually just sat and watched, they were amazed at how it was true. What happened was as we were sitting there, the waitress came up and asked him if he wanted a beer or something, he told her yes and she turned to start to walk away. I tried to get her attention, but she ignored me. My buddy yelled over to her and she came right back with a smile. He asked why she didn’t ask his buddy here if he wanted something. Just looked over at me and said, “Oh, did YOU want something!?” with an attitude.

After that, he started paying even more attention and sure enough, I was right. Everywhere we went people would great him and I would be invisible. This is no joke, one time we went to a bar and the guy at the door opened up and let him in and shook his hand greeting him and then let the door just shut in my face. I stopped the door with my fist, so it would make a loud noise. The door man just looked at me and said “Oh, I didn’t see you there!” Even my name is not understood when I tell people. I shake their hand and tell them “Monte” loudly. They repeat, “Mickey?” I tell them again, “MONTE” emphasizing on the pronunciation. They reply “Oh, Marky!” After a few tries I just say “Phil” “Oh Phil!” they respond. My buddy about hit the floor when he saw that happen. It wasn’t until that name thing that someone finally understood and believed me about I’m invisible to most people. Probably one of the reasons I died my hair Blue, I get noticed now. But all my life I wasn’t noticed so I really never developed interaction in meeting new people or having the air of self-confidence that people around you pick up on.

Now, here I am, almost 60 and trying to build a team of likeminded people in the world of fitness. Do you see the issue I’m facing here? Even with the blue hair, I’m ignored on social media. What I mean is, I’m told there are thousands and thousands of people every day that see my posts and pictures but I don’t know it, so I need to be careful what and how I say things and what types of pictures I post. I questioned why then do I never get a bunch of likes or comments or new friend requests like they do? Well, apparently, my content is boring, and I don’t talk too the people about how they are doing. It’s always about what I’m doing and no real subject matter. I look at what they post and I say and copy the same forum, asking the same questions and talking about what I’m doing and why, and how they are doing with stuff. I ask for opinions and ideas, I share the good and the bad. And yet I don’t get the 2 or3 hundred friend requests or IG Followers like others do. Guess were back to that old R.B.F and being invisible when I say something.

When someone DOES actually listen to me, they are amazed at how much I know, and my insight is far beyond most. They actually liked talking to me and when that happens I usually get asked how I knew all this stuff. I pay attention, that’s all. Something most people don’t do anymore. But with all my insight and knowledge, what I want to know most is HOW do I get my words in front of the right people that feel like I do and want to help with putting an end to obesity and get people fit and feel better. It’s like this blog I guess. Is anyone ever really going to read it? So why do I write it? I don’t really know other than it’s an outlet for my feelings and keeping the hope alive that one day, just Maybe, someone will read these words and learn about a guy that has a lot to offer in spite of all that’s gone on in his life and never gave up.

E-mail :: HK3Fitness@gmail.com

Facebook :: Harold Krueger

Instagram :: MonteP90X

Suck The Life Out!!

Posted on August 11, 2018 by Monte

You’ve heard a lot of my past so lets get back up a little to NOW! There’s so much to talk about and tell about present day things. I just wanted to give a glimpse into what formed my mindset and way of thinking. Who we are NOW is a direct relation to how, where and when we were raised. Things can change though as long as we understand how it started and the direction it took us. Now since I’m talking abut life here, let’s talk about taking yours back!

Why is it that people seem to LOVE to suck the life out of things and come up with a poor me attitude that HAS to outdo the other person? IF people spent half the time doing some thing positive instead of complaining and making it seem like you’re on deaths door, Life would be so much grander for all of us. I have a friend that, OMG, HAS to be the center of attention on everything that is wrong with them and has to make it always sound like its a one step away from death, issue. Being very over weight is not uncommon to be linked to diabetes. My friend is border line to having that. To hear that from them though. They are on death’s door and need to watch every little thing they eat and cut out all sugar and so on. But I say No, just lose some weight and you’ll be fine.

Then there are the people that seem to always have an excuse for being 600 pounds or more and ya know what the number one reason is that they give ,,,, “I was abused as a child!” So, I guess child abuse will cause you to be overweight. We live an age of story tellers and hiders. A story teller is one that tells any story they think of to justify an issue they DO have control of but would rather get the sympathy and have people do things for them. The hider is the one that runs from the truth and denies there is an issue. You know the ones, they are over weight but say they are just fine with their body and nothing is wrong. Guess again Jethro. You have issues and need to address them and not push them off on the unexpecting public. Back in the day a doctor would tell you that you need to lose some weight instead of saying, “Well all your tests came back good, so your fine.” Then you pay a few hundred dollars for that and go on your way to have a heart attack later and see the doctor again so he or she makes more money. It’s all about the money now days for some reason.

All this adds up to one thing, Self-Pride! The general public has traded that in for Media Acceptance! Go with the flow and don’t make waves. Be like what others want and deny what you really feel about something. You can get upset with what I say or even mad, but you know deep down you can’t disagree. A person now days would rather be popular than true to themselves. Sad indeed but true. It’s time to take back our lives and learn that having self-pride will actually make you live a happier and more productive life due to less stress of having to keep up with the Jones. Life is too short to be hung up on a word that was used in a way that offended you. It’s Just a Word! Read my blog on Words and you will know what I am talking about. It’s time to have a little self-control and quit being a sheep that blindly follows where the others are going. Odds are there will be a wolf waiting for them. It’s time to think about what you want instead of what’s most popular. I’m not saying you need to have a me first attitude at all. That would be going too far and you would lose the meaning of life and sharing. That’s a whole other blog though on that topic of losing life’s point.

Bottom line here is we need to get our self-pride back, quit all the exaggerating of the facts and live our life more honestly as to what we really feel and not be so damn sensitive about what is going on. Worry about yourself first, It’s OK to do that.

E-mail :: HK3Fitness@gmail.com

Facebook :: Harold Krueger

Instagram :: MonteP90X

My Life Chapter 4 … What a Date!

Posted on August 7, 2018 by Monte

Since I know you all loved that little embarrassment Here’s another one. Funny how that kind f real life stories catches the eye more than others. Of course, the ones with sadness or turmoil are the best, right? Anyway, when we last saw the young 12 yr old monte, he was modeling underwear in front of 2 girls his age…… now we’ll go ahead a little more and get to another embarrassing moment, ready? As you know I grew up in the north and we had a pond on our property. Every year my Dad would test it in the winter to see if it was frozen enough to skate and play on. When it was at that point, I would go and shovel the snow off to include a little entrance way onto the frozen pond. One year when I was in high school, 2^nd year, a good friend of mine who was about 2 years older was dating someone that had a a sister 1 year younger than I. I was 15 at the time and a little on the shy side when it came to girls. Mainly cuz I was always put down and laughed at for some reason. I was not popular at all due to my mom always saying no to stuff. Yeah word got around and in no time I became my own group.

What I mean by that is the Nerds labeled me as Jock because of my size and strength, the Jocks labeled me as a Tough Guy and the Tough Guys labeled me as a Nerd …. And the Nerds labeled me as …. You cee how it went, thus I was my own group. I really didn’t fit in anywhere. My buddy knew this and tried to help by setting me up with his girlfriend’s sister. She was really good looking so I should have seen it coming. It was winter, and I had the pond all nicely cleared off, a little area for small bond fire to keep warm and some really huge tree logs to use as benches. Everything was set, all I need was for this double date to start. I could hardly wait and looking back I don’t see why I was so excited given my history with girls. As he drove up the driveway I came out to great them. I’ll leave all the names out so now on will be upset or anything should they read this.

As my date got out of the car I was introduced, and she didn’t really look at me much. Hmm, clue number 1 that she was probably TOLD to do this. I was on my best behavior and didn’t want to scare her off by being like the typical high school guy that just wants one thing …. make out ….. ! We out on our skates and went on the ice. She was a little unstable, so I offered to help her by letting her hold on to me. I could skate pretty good, so I thought it might, just might impress her. Well, clue number 2, she flat said no real quick and kept a close eye on where sister was. I backed off, I didn’t push it. I skated around a little, but it was kind of boring. It was not what I had imagined at all for this date. I knew I was no Chippendale dancer but never thought of myself as bad looking. Maybe I should have and saved myself a lot of heart ache. I offered Hot Chocolate and sit by the fire to warm up and talk. She asked her sister if that’s what SHE wanted to do and then we sat, rather quietly as you can imagine. If I sat close, she moved over, clue number 3.

Here’s the kicker and what all the clues were adding up to. My buddy and his girl decided to help me out a little so I can get to know my date better without her sister right here. The plan was to say they were going to go the store real quick for something, leaving my date behind sort of hoping it would make her talk to me and perhaps be more comfortable. OK, ready??? This little lady, when the car drove off, took off running down the long ass driveway, waving her arms and yelling for them to stop, wait, you can’t leave me here! Talk about a knock out blow. She wouldn’t talk to me the entire time my friend and her sister were gone. I wasn’t even allowed to get near her. I was told by her that I better just leave her alone. I was like, What did I do? The 2 came back in like 15 minutes and my date started to yell at her sister saying that was not funny and why in the hell did they leave her like that and…. Her sister interrupted quickly and chewed her out big time say how wrong she was for running like that and making Monte feel bad. It was not the mature thing to do at all. My buddy apologized for how the night went but him it’s OK, it’s not his fault. I never told my parents what really happened that night, I just told them it was OK and left it at that. When I reflect on things like this I can’t help but wonder, “What would they think of me now!?” If anyone wants more details on this little story just ask.

Remember to drop me line with any questions, thoughts or feelings about what you read here.

E-mail :: HK3Fitness@gmail.com

Facebook :: Harold Krueger

Instagram :: MonteP90X

#deepthought #foodporn #journey #family #challenge #group #people #mindset #future #past #strength #energy #blog #biker #old #young #wisdom #growth #smallstuff #feelings #emotions #speakout #life #growingup #childhood #mental #freedom #speech #fun

My Life Chapter 3 .. Early Life Embarrassment

Posted on July 22, 2018 by Monte

So how many are still reading? Let’s get into some more really good stuff and step it up to age 12. At this time, I’m noticing girls big time and things are a popping if you know what I mean. I’m actually just a hormone with legs right now. Well, another couple that was really good friends with my mom and dad ran into some bad luck while living in Texas, so they ended up moving back to Illinois where we were and where they started from. We had just finished the add on to the house, so we had the room for them. That couple had 5 kids, 3 girls and 2 boys. 1 girl was a year younger, 1 same age as me and 1 a few years older. The 2 boys, one was a few years younger than I and the other a few years older. Anyway, it was interesting having them live there and go to school together. I didn’t really have any friends due to living so far from anyone and my mom never really approving of anyone I wanted to hang with. The two girls in my age range of course I thought were good looking and my mind did play the game but never acted on it really, just thought about it a lot, as did they.

One day, I believe it to be a Saturday, mom and I had just gotten back from the store. We were shopping for some clothes and underwear. Do you see what’s coming? So, here’s the other mom sitting on the couch and my mom talking about what we bought. Next thing I know I’m having to put a pair of my new underwear on and model it for the other mom. This part is not the embarrassing/humiliation part. What made it that was once the two girls my age heard about the little fashion show, they quickly sat by their mom, one on each side and watched. When I came out of my room, only wearing my tidy whites, I froze for a second seeing the girls now also sitting on the couch. Mom looked at me and sternly said to get over to her closer. I walked the most embarrassing steps I ever took. Only took about 5 steps but seemed like a mile. The two girls were smiling and keeping in the laughter I could see in their eyes.

Next thing, and you know what that is if you’re over 40, the pull at the waist band and leg area. So as my mom is pulling down on the elastic leg opening to show how nice they fit and keep everything where it should be with plenty of crotch room, as she put it, (did she have to say Crotch Room?) the two girls had their eyes wide open like a deer caught in the headlights. I really wanted to just curl up under a rock and never come out. Mom just kept pulling, twisting and moving the pants around while telling the other mom how great these were and she should think about getting some for her son as well. The two girls were sitting there giggling and never blinked once. They didn’t want to miss anything if it popped out I guess. A couple times it almost did. Well, lucky for me I was too embarrassed being seen this way in front of two girls my age having my mom tug and pull at me down there to realize there were 2 GIRLS LOOKING AT ME IN MY UNDERWEAR! One step away from naked and ready for action….. LOL! Hey, that’s how a 12-year-old thought back then. So, the embarrassment kept things from ,,,,, becoming a Big Deal, if you know what I mean.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, but was only about 10 to 15 minutes, it was over, and I could return to my room to get dressed. Later I did mention a little bit about being embarrassed in front of the two girls and my mom told me I was not to worry about it, I’m way to young to even be thinking like that. It was just too bad if I was embarrassed. There was nothing to be embarrassed about! I am your mother and you will do as I tell you, too bad if you don’t want to. Guess that comes from her modeling underwear in that catalog that makes me model it be OK. I don’t think she even for one second thought about me standing there like in front of 2 girls that were NOT my sisters. It sort of changed how the 2 girls and I looked at each other after that day. They were so close to getting the Full Monte, I wonder how they would have reacted if I Would have fallen out of the leg hole while mom was pulling it down and out a bit to show the great leg room I had and how it wasn’t too tight. Now, there’s still a lot to tell about events and things way back then but I don’t want to make this too long or I’ll never get to present day. If I were writing a book I would be more detailed and descriptive along with more things that took place as I grew up. I will be telling about a lot more things but not all of them, just the highlights of turning points in my life as I saw them to be.

Remember to drop me line with any questions, thoughts or feelings about what you read here.

E-mail :: HK3Fitness@gmail.com

Facebook :: Harold Krueger

Instagram :: MonteP90X

#deepthought #foodporn #journey #family #challenge #group #people #mindset #future #strength #energy #blog #biker #old #wisdom #growth #smallstuff #feelings #emotions #speakout #life #growingup #childhood #mental #freedom #speech #fun

My Life Chapter 2 …. The Turning Point

Posted on July 10, 2018 by Monte

If you don’t know where you’ve been and how far you’ve come how can you appreciate what you have now!?

So with that said, let continue on with “As The Monte Turns!”

It wasn’t too long after the screaming lady night that it really came falling down around me and I started my spiral down ward. Yeah that night was a high note for me compared to what was ahead in my life. Little did I know that the event I’m going to tell you about, I believe also shaped my relationship between my mom and I. I remember it like it was yesterday. Picture this, an almost eight-year-old little boy with beyond average feelings and emotions for his age is standing in the kitchen with his mom. Yep, there she was, getting dinner ready. She was shopping up some meat on the cutting board and I was talking to her about how I felt and things I thought deep inside. She didn’t skip a movement and just listened while I talked. I don’t believe she even looked at me the entire time until apparently, I went too far with what I was saying.

I told her I loved her more than anything. She said she loved me too, I then said how much I loved going to work with her to be able to spend more time and even wished I could be with her every minute. It was OK back then to do stuff like that. Many times when she had to go pull a late night shift My sister and I would go along and either stay in the back room at the hospital where she worked as a Medical Lab Technician or we would stay in the car and sleep in the back seat. But then I said it, the ultimate in dumb things to say I guess. I told her that I want to be with her so much that’s probably why I don’t like school, cuz I just want to be with her. Well that did it. She went form cutting that meat to a dead stop and looked at me as she said, “Oh now just quit! Quit being so stupid in what you’re saying. That’s the most ridicules thing I’ve ever heard, now go sit down somewhere!” Her tone was cold and without emotion as she looked back down and continued to cut up what she was going to cook for dinner. I was really shocked and hurt, it was at that moment I felt the ultimate feeling of embarrassment. You know the kind, when you say or do something that just tares your world apart and you don’t know how to even breath or what to say or how to act while your body sort of goes numb and you do your best to act all OK About it but inside you feel totally stupid. It was right then that I thought to myself “It’s wrong to say I love you that much?”

She just totally shut me down. She said a few other things, but I didn’t really pay attention as I was still hanging on the shut up and don’t be so stupid part. I do remember it was all negative toward my statement to her about how I felt. I was crushed, my heart felt a sudden cold go across it as I walked away. I didn’t cry, though I wanted to. I wasn’t going to give her or anyone the satisfaction of knowing I felt so beat. I do remember as I walked away, saying in my little mind while taking a slow deep breath, “Fine! That’s how you feel? Guess I said enough to last forever then, and I don’t have to say it anymore!” For some reason I immediately convinced my self it was what I wanted to happen, and I only said that much to hold her over for a long time of me not saying it. I was justifying in my mind that it was OK. Even though I felt embarrassed beyond any level I ever felt before, my brain took over to make my life not feel so completely devastated.

That wasn’t the only embarrassing time I had with her though. Over time there were many more and I always just felt it was because she was embarrassed to have me in the first place. The reason for that feeling of how bad I was came from hearing over and over through the years that she had given up a career as a model, singer she was starting and even gave up playing the violin because she had kids. Her claim to fame modeling career at that time was for modeling Bra and Panty ads in the Sears catalog. She never really learned how to play the violin but to hear her talk, she was ready for the symphony or something. I won’t even get started on her singing. So as a child what else would I think but that I ruined her life. She never once said it was OK or that we were more important to her than all that. But things got worse as time went on and I’ll tell you next time about my complete humiliation as a boy coming of age in front of a couple girls my age, all at the hand of my mom.

Remember to drop me line with any questions, thoughts or feelings about what you read here.

E-mail :: HK3Fitness@gmail.com

Facebook :: Harold Krueger

Instagram :: MonteP90X